I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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