just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
