I heard we made out
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
