I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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