i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
