So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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