I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
