just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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