glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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