Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
