i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
But theres a keg here and me gusta
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
