marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
