margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Randomize
