One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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