he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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