I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
