k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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