If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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