i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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