i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
