worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
