2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
