we have pet lesbian snakes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
