I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
