I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
