i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
