I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
