I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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