woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
