We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
