It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
