he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
