My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
