I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
