i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
