Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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