What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
