I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
