guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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