party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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