Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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