dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so let's talk penis.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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