She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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