sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
