He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
