There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Text me some of your sweat
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