Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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