Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently you make a good broom.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
