Where is the hickey?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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