This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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